Brownies = (in England) a cult girls club, a bit like the the Famous Five, the Secret Seven (except lots more of them, with a uniform and without their own private island full of smugglers), or the Freemasons.  By that, I mean secret handshakes etc.  Look, check ’em out:

However, in the US, where my beloved dad lives with his fantastically American wife Kelley (“Paul, Paul, get the camera Paul!!), Brownies means something entirely different.  It equates to a dirty, dirty chocolatey slab that’s deliberately designed to cause your arteries to block like the M6 before you’ve even eaten it.  In England, ‘dirty’ means WRONG…. HELLA wrong, but GREAT!  Well, ladies and gentlemen, I raise my glass to my American step-family. You guys know how to make puddings. However, if we’re going to go ‘chocolate’ here, let’s add more.  We’ll add a flake to the top.  Then we’ll microwave it, melt it and eat it.  YEAH!

Here goes:

(Makes 6 fatties)

75g plain flour,  1 tbsp cocoa powder,  154g dark chocolate (broken into pieces), 112g ‘Best for Baking’ (from Asda) – if not add unsalted butter and 1/4 tsp salt,  5g instant coffee, 150g caster sugar, 45g light brown sugar (just use caster if you don’t have brown), 2.5 eggs, 1 tsp vanilla extract.

1) preheat oven to 180 degrees.

2) Line a smallish, deepish baking dish with butter then parchment paper.  Use a loaf tin, or a small lasagne tin/dish.

3) Sieve flour, salt (if used) and cocoa into a bowl.

4) In another bowl, put the chocolate, butter and coffee.  Set it over a hot saucepan of water. (Don’t let the bowl touch the water).  Keep the heat just low enough to melt the choc/butter without boiling.  When melted and smooth, add sugars.  Whisk (preferably with an electric mixer) until combined.  It will be quite runny.  Remove from heat.

5) Add 2.5 eggs (tricky, I know!) and vanilla.  Whisk again until combined.

6) Fold in flour carefully.  Do not beat.

7) Pour batter into tin/dish.  Bake for 30 mins.  It will be quite gloopy when it comes out.  This surprised and unnerved me!  FORGET the rule of inserting a skewer and it coming out clean – it comes out covered in chocolate!!  Let the Brownie mix cool, then turn onto a rack and peel away parchment.

8) Cut into slices.  Add half a flake to the top of each and microwave for a few seconds.


About Scrap Kittie

A sewing and baking addict, vegetarian animal-lover, teacher. And an avid music fan...all the wrong sorts of music. Hence the blog was nearly called 'Hot Cake' after The Fall's song.
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10 Responses to Brownies.

  1. Louis Gregory says:


  2. Kelley-stepmom-friend-pumpkin-american mother-paul's wife says:

    There is a reason most American woman are at least a size 14, lol….it is our artery blocking baked goods and if you’ll excuse the pun, chocolate brownies really “take the cake.” Yum, they look authentically delicious gabs! all my love, pumpkin!

  3. Kelley-stepmom-friend-pumpkin-american mother-paul's wife says:

    ……..this makes me smile…..i still sling the tea towel over my shoulder and cook with Dylan or Willie in the backgrond…..Nice job Gabby x

  4. ziggy says:

    Hi gab can me and lid order some chocolate brownies please and we are serious.They look lovely and yummy scrummy.Could we have them before the 26th january (before inga’s birthday) for a birthday suprise.Thank-You
    from your mom

  5. ziggy says:

    No you can make them as it will be a great suprise and they will be better and it wont be a secret for inga and my scales are rubbish so can you bake them please.Yes i have looked at your vinilla cupcakes and they look gorgeous. But we like the look of both. But can you do the brownies please.

  6. Lydja says:

    WOW they look great, well
    1. You made them
    2.They are chocolate
    L0L nah they look nice and I think you should go on ‘ Master Chef ‘ haha xx

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